I believe I can safely say that no one is ever gonna read my blog. It would be like my online diary, and I can write anything I want, or complain about whoever I want. Well, I don't know why do I like to write my thoughts down somewhere whenever I'm feeling really down, or feeling mind blown by things that happened. Probably because i felt that all these rants and complaints were just meaningless mumbling to others, and it wouldn't matter to them anyway. So why bother? So many things have changed - people, places and feelings. I've tried my best to talk to my friends the same way I talked to them when everything were perfect. Let's just say she was a good friend from my school, we used to talk about anything under the sun. We always have each other as the first person to know, whenever things went wrong, or how we were uncomfortable in certain situations in school. Not forgetting sharing the joy that we acquired from little things in our very own life. When I text her a while back, everything felt different. We were no longer as close as we were before. I can feel it. She was an important friend to me. It just hurts to know that things weren't the same as before anymore, and how every single moment I beg to return to days when things were perfect. Here's the problem with me. ITS HARD FOR ME TO MOVE ON. Even after so long, I'm still talking to my school friends like how I used to talk to them. In fact, I'm no longer friends with them anymore, I'm only friends with the mental image I have of them. The mental image I have of them when things were going right, when things were perfect. Maybe its just me who cared too much. Maybe its just me who is in a standstill, can't stand the fact that people are moving on and I'm not. I met up with Joel and Shalyn last Sunday, 3 of us weren't very happy about our lives. There were moments were we just remain solemn, though this shouldn't be the case. Joel came to fetch me first, and together, we crafted something that speaks our heart - We cant predict the future, we cant accept the present. All we are left with is the past that we always choose to move back to. That's the easiest way to lead our life. That's how we felt when we're in the army. Who would understand? I kept moving back to the past. I'm actually talking to people that never exist anymore. All moved on. Except me.