Okay where do I start. Well I shall start with something positive.
1. In my 18 years of life (before I enlisted), I have never read finish a book official. Recently as crazy as it sounds I have a new found passion which is reading. Don't ask me, I have totally no idea why am I reading so much now. Not too much though, because my reading speed is pretty slow and I have only read 2 books in my whole life (or rather in the most recent 3 months of my life). In my free time, instead of talking cock with my friends, I would rather read. I treasure the time I spent with myself, so which it is important for some self-rejuvenation and self-discovery. Beginning to sounds like an introvert already huh huh oh yes I would consider myself as one. No one belongs to the extreme ends but I would confidently say that my nature tends towards the introvert side. Like I said, self-discovery, that's something I discovered about myself. After a long strenuous exercise, some people talk cock sing song to rejuvenate themselves. For me, I hibernate and conserve my energy. I think that's a pretty big sign that I'm an introvert. And books, duh,
2. Sometimes it is amazing how a person can be your best buddy in the world but when things suddenly go out of the way, he can be the most hated person you can ever have. Jamie screamed at me the other day for a small mistake that I've made, which currently I still don't think that it is a very big issue. He was in my detachment during BMT days and we were pretty close. I cried a little on the last day of BMT knowing that i wouldn't be able to see the awesome people that often already, and of course one of those was Jamie. He's a great friend and he still is. That is the reason that it hurts so much when he screamed at me. I didn't know how to react. I kept quiet and after he is done, I tapped him and said thanks a lot (well, sarcastically). I didn't feel very good from that moment onward. If he wasn't close to me, I will definitely retaliate back. He's a treasured buddy of mine, screaming at him would spoil the friendship further, keeping quiet implies that I'm at fault. Sometimes we just have to put aside our ego to save some friendships isn't it? But i don't know, doesnt seem right to put aside my ego for that small matter.
3. Don't you just love it when you're in a group and you're like feeling left out and just wanna walk off that very minute or probably just dig a hole and bury yourself? No? No one loves it? Oh neither do I. I hate it. Since young. I would probably say that I'm a really sensitive guy, but I certain do not appear as that to many people. We the demo group used to be really close. Even after we were split into our own detachments, we still hang out at the pantry to talk cock and joke around. I love being around them, I do look up to some of them, I don't hate them individually. I just hate the aura they gave me. Sometimes after I said something, they gave each other faces secretly. That's a real confidence bumper. The greater the aura is, the less confident I am. I must admit, sometimes I really said stupid things around them and ONLY THEM because i was trying too hard to impress them, trying my best to fit inside the group. Its not working. Chio did give me that aura. I believe he is trying his best to like me but somehow he just can't do it. Well Javier, he is my detachment mate but occasionally he will scold me fucked up. I didn't notice if he scolded others but it just doesn't feel good when he scold me for whatever reason. Kor, a guy that I really look up to, had that aura too. There's this time where I asked him to repeat something and he went "you think you're funny, but you're not." I do have quite a handful of friends in army, and honestly, I am not fucked up. I only feel this way towards the demo group. I don't feel this way with my other friends. I feel comfortable when talking to other people, I do not have to try my best to impress them and they don't make me feel horrible definitely. I guess I should really stop doing everything that will only bring myself more harm, and focus on the current friends that i have. Tomorrow I'm going to collect my race pack with them, totally not excited to go, I would rather collect it with Alissa. Serious.
4. So 7 months and 22 days had passed, never thought I could come so far, and I'm actually saying that I'm flying to Brunei tomorrow. All is good. Brunei is fun. Real fun. Probably write a touching post after i get my red beret or even after Brunei. Just wait, the red beret will be mine.
1. In my 18 years of life (before I enlisted), I have never read finish a book official. Recently as crazy as it sounds I have a new found passion which is reading. Don't ask me, I have totally no idea why am I reading so much now. Not too much though, because my reading speed is pretty slow and I have only read 2 books in my whole life (or rather in the most recent 3 months of my life). In my free time, instead of talking cock with my friends, I would rather read. I treasure the time I spent with myself, so which it is important for some self-rejuvenation and self-discovery. Beginning to sounds like an introvert already huh huh oh yes I would consider myself as one. No one belongs to the extreme ends but I would confidently say that my nature tends towards the introvert side. Like I said, self-discovery, that's something I discovered about myself. After a long strenuous exercise, some people talk cock sing song to rejuvenate themselves. For me, I hibernate and conserve my energy. I think that's a pretty big sign that I'm an introvert. And books, duh,
2. Sometimes it is amazing how a person can be your best buddy in the world but when things suddenly go out of the way, he can be the most hated person you can ever have. Jamie screamed at me the other day for a small mistake that I've made, which currently I still don't think that it is a very big issue. He was in my detachment during BMT days and we were pretty close. I cried a little on the last day of BMT knowing that i wouldn't be able to see the awesome people that often already, and of course one of those was Jamie. He's a great friend and he still is. That is the reason that it hurts so much when he screamed at me. I didn't know how to react. I kept quiet and after he is done, I tapped him and said thanks a lot (well, sarcastically). I didn't feel very good from that moment onward. If he wasn't close to me, I will definitely retaliate back. He's a treasured buddy of mine, screaming at him would spoil the friendship further, keeping quiet implies that I'm at fault. Sometimes we just have to put aside our ego to save some friendships isn't it? But i don't know, doesnt seem right to put aside my ego for that small matter.
3. Don't you just love it when you're in a group and you're like feeling left out and just wanna walk off that very minute or probably just dig a hole and bury yourself? No? No one loves it? Oh neither do I. I hate it. Since young. I would probably say that I'm a really sensitive guy, but I certain do not appear as that to many people. We the demo group used to be really close. Even after we were split into our own detachments, we still hang out at the pantry to talk cock and joke around. I love being around them, I do look up to some of them, I don't hate them individually. I just hate the aura they gave me. Sometimes after I said something, they gave each other faces secretly. That's a real confidence bumper. The greater the aura is, the less confident I am. I must admit, sometimes I really said stupid things around them and ONLY THEM because i was trying too hard to impress them, trying my best to fit inside the group. Its not working. Chio did give me that aura. I believe he is trying his best to like me but somehow he just can't do it. Well Javier, he is my detachment mate but occasionally he will scold me fucked up. I didn't notice if he scolded others but it just doesn't feel good when he scold me for whatever reason. Kor, a guy that I really look up to, had that aura too. There's this time where I asked him to repeat something and he went "you think you're funny, but you're not." I do have quite a handful of friends in army, and honestly, I am not fucked up. I only feel this way towards the demo group. I don't feel this way with my other friends. I feel comfortable when talking to other people, I do not have to try my best to impress them and they don't make me feel horrible definitely. I guess I should really stop doing everything that will only bring myself more harm, and focus on the current friends that i have. Tomorrow I'm going to collect my race pack with them, totally not excited to go, I would rather collect it with Alissa. Serious.
4. So 7 months and 22 days had passed, never thought I could come so far, and I'm actually saying that I'm flying to Brunei tomorrow. All is good. Brunei is fun. Real fun. Probably write a touching post after i get my red beret or even after Brunei. Just wait, the red beret will be mine.
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